Declutter

Today is the day, I thought through the tremulous throbs coming from every corner of my dehydrated brain.

So, after two days straight of rolling around under the covers, not willing myself to do more than breathe, I yanked myself out of the cavernous quiltage and plunked in front of my closet.

Clothes, ugh those darn clothes. If it wasn’t for having to pick out an outfit and squeeze my awkward shape in, I’d be peppy and full of energy. Ready to meander through the hills and furrows. Exploding with colorful thoughts and shouting to the world that today has been yet another day full of laughter and bliss. Of finding the beauty in the flowers on the edges of the sidewalks, and splashing through puddles like a kid. Okay, the last one I do – I love rain, and who needs to look fancy for that?!

But today, my friends, begins a new journey. I’ve been reading and listening to talks about minimalism, and although any life change (especially as I get older – at the ripe age of 23, I think I can begin to say this) gets more difficult, I am head over heels in love with the idea. Of course you could type it into google and pull up millions of stories, meanings, and inspirations. But basically, it means compartmentalizing your life & space, choosing to be YOU and leaving out the rest. Because you can, and you should!

It’s a scary thing, I think. Because then I have to begin asking myself, “Why do I smoke cigarettes sometimes? Is this a valuable thing to me?” Of course, the answer is no. So there it goes, chucked out the window. The good thing here is that I have been sick for the last three days and haven’t had a puff – this should help, right?

Anyway, I’m excited for this change. I have been in a constant state of minimally living over the last few months – you know, coming home from a late class, crashing for a few hours, getting up to cook a pizza or scarf down a salad (depending on what I ate last and whether or not I have my period), maybe working on yet another 50 page paper, and sleeping more until I need to scramble out of bed mumbling for another torturous clinical day. You get the picture – my main courses are sleeping, eating, breathing, and working. The bare minimum.

College courses have been wreaking a havoc on me mentally, along with losing a family member, and beginning to deal with childhood trauma. I’m ready for the gusto of life to bring itself on, & I’m going to be ready. With my backpack of essentials, a much more open space of living, and a cleaner soul. If you pick up what I’m laying down.

I know it’s not going to change over night – but, I have started to go through my things. At first, it was so hard to know what to get rid of and what to hang on to. I would think things like ‘but I spent so much money on that,’ and ‘that should mean something to me, after all I spent 4 years of my life committed to karate.’ After getting into the swing of pitching things (or donating), though, I now ask myself two simple questions:

1. Is this beautiful to me?
2. Is this functional to me?

Those are the criteria, and if the object fits both, then it’s a sure keeper, probably for ever and ever. If it fits one of the criteria, it’s a keeper for now. Simple as that.

We’ll see if it is as life-changing as they say it is, but for me I really believe that it will be. Since my living space (an apartment behind a hair salon) is a constant state of stress and anxiety for me, which weighs on my shoulders far too much for something which should be a haven to relax or do things which I enjoy, this (I hope) is the very beginning of a larger life style change.

I don’t want to stop at simply decluttering my house, you see. I am ready to ask those tough questions (one is aforementioned – the smoking business). Others include toxic relationships, travel goals, fitness and overall health, and my passions.

There is so much to experience in life, and we only have a small amount of time. So I’m ready to take the leap! Hope you stay tuned throughout my journey.

A favorite quote, which I think fits this post: ‘You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.’ – Unknown

Much love,

Nikki